tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1576931768660001666.post2010193448782315921..comments2023-06-19T06:16:21.321-07:00Comments on Courage to Change: A Broken Link in my Primary ProgramSmittyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12681768755769989964noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1576931768660001666.post-2257905276080287132013-09-03T07:58:47.118-07:002013-09-03T07:58:47.118-07:00I really like this understanding.... sponsorship i...I really like this understanding.... sponsorship is a calling..... not a job. Thanks Syd too for the other piece. I keep having too high expectations for myself and others. Eventually, I will remember that many people, including me, have chips on their shoulders and nails in their heads that keep bumping others.<br />Smittyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12681768755769989964noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1576931768660001666.post-84569099884498787652013-06-29T04:59:05.165-07:002013-06-29T04:59:05.165-07:00I don't like the word fired because sponsorshi...I don't like the word fired because sponsorship is not a job--it is a calling from my HP and an essential part of Step 12 of carrying the message to others. I believe that in the situation you describe, it is best to let the resentment go. There are many sick people out there who go to 12 step meetings. Kinda like the insane people running the psychiatric hospital sometimes--LOL. But I agree that compassion is needed. And a face to face to discuss why someone no longer wants another to sponsor them. It needs to be done with the principles of the program in mind. Sydhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05642843245634635843noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1576931768660001666.post-89444411768020416852013-06-20T09:40:23.593-07:002013-06-20T09:40:23.593-07:00Yes, being "fired" has been part of my g...Yes, being "fired" has been part of my growth process, too. But my latest thought when I sponsor someone is to be sure they have a crisis call list. I can't be the person's only source of help. <br /><br />That said, the particular story of the person who was "fired" was one in which the person had face-to-face and regular phone contact. The person was in the midst of crisis, and the Sponsor told them to call a crisis line. And not contact the Sponsor again until they had seen a psychiatrist and had medications stabilized.<br /><br />I'm thinking... the Sponsor has a part in that piece, somewhere. They needed to set boundaries a lot earlier, perhaps. Personally, I hate hardline sponsorship. I think it gives program a bad name.<br /><br />It also does not care for people in emotional crisis very well. The Sponsee got over it, however, it was not good program to kick someone to the curb.<br /><br />Of this I am sure. My problem with my primary program is that it has such limited literature and so little good online experience that folks don't get the difference between someone acting out of victimhood, and acting out of a place of trauma.<br /><br />I found that scary. When it comes to mental/emotional illness, compassion is the first place to start. Even I need it from time to time and I am not a newcomer. Every once in awhile I stumble into a childhood trigger, and when I choose a Sponsor, especially one who has supposed recovery in my area of vulnerability, I count on them to coach me through it.<br /><br />Not kick me to the curb and tell me to call a crisis line. <br /><br />I am the last person to act as a victim... but in black and white my appeal for compassion could sound like I am asking to be "enabled" I guess.<br /><br />Folks need compassion in this program, even when they are sturdy and well. I give it to others, without enabling..surely others can do the same?<br /><br />Just thinking out loud here. Not to argue, but to seek my personal understanding...I do appreciate alternate viewpoints.. to keep me honest.<br /><br />Best, SmittySmittyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12681768755769989964noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1576931768660001666.post-10720227330466139232013-06-20T08:04:58.529-07:002013-06-20T08:04:58.529-07:00I think we always feel we know best or at least th...I think we always feel we know best or at least think our ideas should be heard. But when someone doesn't want to hear it then there is no point in giving it. <br /><br />I can't imagine where I would be if my sponsor had fired me, she could have and that would have to be part of my own growth process. 20 years later she doesn't sponsor newcomers anymore. <br /><br />People get stuck sometimes comfortable where ever they are not making progress. As a sponsor you want someone to work the steps and get past being a victim. <br /><br />Sorry that you got in the middle of that it is hard enought to do in person I can't imagine dealing with it email.<br /><br />Grace-WorkinProgresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16386539822343069884noreply@blogger.com