January 27: Make Me An Instrument; A Musical Discord

(Adapted for personal use from Courage to Change in Alanon.)

We have a situation at our house between my son and his musical instrument.   I am in trouble nearly every day because us parents have to hound him to practice.   It seems like however nicely we ask him to practice, it usually backfires.  He'll play for five minutes, and play it half-assed. Or he'll carry a grudge at being nagged, out on the instrument. Which is a piano.  Too loud to ignore. 

If only I could pick up the phone and call a program friend about this particular problem. It is driving me crazy!

I know I am angry about something more than our son's lack of caring, and his procrastination. I feel he is privileged and he takes for granted the opportunity to learn an instrument, that he loves.  Truth is, I simply don't know how to be present to his considerable talent and keep him on a responsible path without his acting out.  Our son wants to be left alone,  and tells us he will practice when he is ready, but he has not initiated practice in a long while and never for more than fifteen minutes.  I would really like to know how is how to create the kind of harmony in our relationship that will encourage him to practice and be motivated to be efficient with his time.  

I suspect it could help me if I were grateful that our son no longer bangs the piano when he can't get something right the first time!  Practicing an instrument is a process of learning from mistakes. I don't need to interpret the way he chooses to practice as a bad mark against my parenting.  

As today’s reminder reads,

"Why do I allow myself to suffer, to blow small things out of proportion? I can break a situation down to a more manageable size by taking it one day at a time." 

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.... especially when my son stops practicing long before he has mastery... of his instrument, and it looks like he won't return unless I become a pain.. or the piano police.

Here's where I need a program friend, who has learned to let go of expectations, allowing their child to develop their own talent. 

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.... especially when my son stops practicing on his instrument long before he has mastery... of his music, and it looks like he won't return "to the ivories" unless I become a pain.. or the piano police.

I know I am allowing myself to suffer, blowing small things out of proportion. Program reminds me  I can break a situation down to a more manageable size by taking it one day at a time. 

I'm a work in progress, trying to  iron out my rough spots in the music of my relationships. Alas, this can only be done one day at a time. 

God give me patience!