Joy, Action and Rest

I got a closet cleared this past week. A dear friend helped me and it was good to have action and laughter.

I am seriously glad now our family has a safe place to be should a tornado hit this spring. We already had tornados sweep through our area, the night our neighbor (H)  sat vigil as his wife, Joy, was dying from cancer a week ago.  I think the tornados were the least of H's concern. But, I used last Friday night's storm as warning, and an invitation to do a closet inventory this past week.

Our friend Joy, is gone.  Even as I try to "shoulder" our family's destiny and soldier on. I haven't talked much to H about it, keeping private, I guess. It has crossed my mind that Joy's passing on Saturday as the skies were clearing, is not something I'm bearing well. 

When I overwork my arm, my personal joy at being alive seems to vanish, too. I think that increases my guilt, when I cannot do what needs to be done.

I am so right-handed, that I when my right shoulder is re-experiencing old trauma (old work and relationship injuries), I am almost rendered powerless. I find I must lie down at times, and let my right arm rest.

It is when I rest, that I feel my griefs, old and new, all mixed up. 

Maybe I am just supposed to grieve, do small pieces of focused work (off-computer) and re-intrgrate my losses, by resting? 

Our trip to check out our new home, this coming week, may help serve as a rest from the computer. May all who walk with me in this be blessed, and may you weather your grief and losses by staying in the moment. I know joy and contentment can be found as I stay close to my heart.