Old habits die hard. Being hard on myself, making things happen the hard way, has been my method for a long time. Such does not lead to serenity.
For today, I am struggling with finding out how to work with my body that causes less pain.
My square shoulders tell everyone I am sturdy and athletic. I look strong on the outside, but inside I have been broken a long time, an old seam of weakness was held secure by strong (spasmed) muscles.
A let-down in my life, has reactivated old muscle memory, creating pain down the course of that old seam, from my dominant shoulder, down the whole right side of my body, clear into the little toe I broke when my son was an infant.
Instead of using my will as I have always....I want to let a simpler, gentler power heal me. I cannot do healing with my own hands, my HP's are gentler and more sure.
I want to learn to let my vulnerability show, instead of my strong will which has protected me from being hurt. "Easy Does It" means I let God be the one to guide my movements and my heart. Just For Today, let this be so.
I am learning to take my time; yes, it is pain that is teaching me.