June 23, 2010

Smitty's Story for Today: The Prodigal Child

Soon, very soon, I am going home to the part of the country where I grew up. My family of choice: son, husband and have made a few concrete plans to visit select friends and family. I will tell my parents that we are coming, hopefully in time for them to be able to be included in our plans.

Because the priority is on having a good family vacation, I've very mixed emotions about seeing my mom. Over the past year and a half, since I joined Al-anon, I have become exposed to darkness in our relationship. I have been changing, making mistakes along the way, the she condemns me for. She has completely stopped looking for the good, and I have chosen to learnt to love myself without her approval. Right now, that is also making our relationship worse. Because she cannot claim much of my life successes, she is now painting me black. This means she not only does not look for the good in me when we talk, but she is frequently pointing out my imagined flaws.

I find that her behavior has taken away my sense of enthusiasm for seeing her. None of my family of three really want to see her, or observe her mistreating me. Still I pray for a miracle, while I know letting go of hope is really the best answer to my gordian knot.

Let go and let God, Smitty.

1 comment:

  1. Sometimes I simply have to get away from those who choose to berate me. I can decide to get up and calmly walk away from a fight. Leaving the field of battle is a choice. If I decide to stand and fight then I had better be willing to get down and dirty.


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