My 12-step recovery involves becoming aware of what motivates my choices. I was appalled to discover that fear ruled my life! I seemed to be afraid of everything: I was afraid to simply say, "no," when necessary. Afraid to show anger or hurt or confusion, and afraid of the anger in others. Denying my own anger with clenched teeth and a painted-on smile, I'd say, "Oh no, everything is OK," while thinking, "I'll find a way to give you a piece of my mind." And of course, there were times when all I wanted to do was get even when someone hurt me. Those times were the worst for me, because the power of my anger scared me and even made me feel ashamed.
Many of my program friends used slogans to help them with their fears and their anger. But when my fear overwhelmed me and rage was close behind, and all I could think of was, "Came to believe..." I could not even finish the words in the Second Step, but that one phrase was enough.
So when the telephone rings, and it is my mom calling, and I am sure the worst is going to happen if I answer that call, I can take a deep breath and say to myself, "Came to believe..." Once the words are working my heart to a place of peace, I can pick up the phone. Who knows, I might end up feeling so much lighter because I am going to handle a difficult situation, that once used to baffle me!
Before taking any action, I need only remind myself that I am in the care of a Higher Power. Whether the words I say are, "Help!" or "Let go and let god," or "Came to believe," I know that my Higher Power and I can deal with whatever we are facing.
As we allow step Two to work in us, we find step three begins to work as well: "We turn our will and our life over to the care of God as we understand [Them]." That is the beginning of our promises coming true.
"A Higher Power is like a friend who really cares about us and wants to share our problems."
the above is adapted from Courage to Change and Al-anon One Day at a Time