It is indeed good that most of us have instinctive needs to fit in.
September 17th's reading goes on to say, " The urge to belong, to keep the peace, helps us to get along with others, and be part of society. This instinct has allowed many civilizations to survive, and is not harmful unless I lose my sense of balance."
I've learned I have my own strong drive to people-please. But I have learned that it is unhealthy when I ignore my own needs and constantly put others needs as first priority. My program helps me find a compromise. When I put my program first, I find that I respond first to my feelings, to take care of myself, keeping my desire to belong in proper perspective.
First things First is working on my self-esteem. When I treat myself with kindness and respect, my "kinder gentler" me is better able to get along with others. An interesting by-product is that if I take care of me, first, I am less likely to get angry later at myself, or want to let that anger out on anyone else!
The Reminder for Today is spot-on for me:
"I will appreciate that all of my instincts and feelings exist for a reason. Today, instead of trying to banish these feelings, I will strive to find a balance."
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, what am I? And if not now-when?" Hillel