December 31, 2010

What I Call Retrograde Motion

I've shared with members of my EA fellowship about my recent relapse.  Today I found myself calling this past few weeks a time of (apparent backwards) motion. Something that happens to all good planets, who "wander" in the star lit heaven. 

When I suffer a relapse, or in retrograde  motion to observers, I need to keep in mind that I am actually on the on track.   God does not see me as being beyond hope at all. My path may be auspicious, after all, retrograde motion of the King Planet (Jupiter) pointed the way to the birth of a Messiah on a long ago winter.

I am where I am in good time.  Blessed to be able to look back with less fear, each day.  Healing is no race.  I need courage to assess my relapse.  I'm worth believing in.  

I think each of us knows when it's the time and place to tell our tales of relapse (retrograde).  I need not hurry my process of self-disclosure and risk undoing my recovery. It takes time to relax and seek truth.   For now, I remain content to contemplate my story in the privacy of my meditations and journaling. 



  1. I know how it feels to take two steps forward and one step back. We need to always remember that we can alter our course at any time depending on the winds, just like a sail boat. We just keep moving forward. My very best to you in the new year and continued success on your journey.

  2. Yes, thanks for taking time out to share. Helpful to me to know I am not alone, and that retracing my steps does no mean failure. I may fall back, and it may require that I go looking for shoes before continuing on... but yes, I agree with you. We do just keep moving forward....

  3. We are not alone in our struggles. Two steps forward, one back: we are still making progress!

  4. Some days I am just not where I need to be which is firmly in steps two and three. If I am there, then I am okay.


I welcome your thoughts. Keep me honest~