The reading from March 19th in our EA Today book brings to mind my recent study of the Twelve Steps, as applied to self-parenting.
To be able to be a child means that I am willing to trust, to be vulnerable, to risk being laughed at or criticized. Being vulnerable can be frightening, but I can do it with the help of a Higher Power or Higher Parent. I am just beginning to consciously appreciate the child in me. In safe company, I can play and to respond to life with humor and laughter. I am so grateful, through my work in the program, to be a lot less concerned about what other people are thinking of me.
May I have joy in expressing the child inside of me-- the part of me that is always willing to trust. Being able to be spontaneous is a gift of healing. Let me follow the example of my inner child, utilizing the power of the program to keep me safe.
Last night, as I drifted off to sleep, my Inner Chlld reminded me I would not be here today, with the man I married over twenty years ago, if I did not have a basic self trust. How grateful I am for the good instincts of my Inner Child, and for the adult me that listened to that small still voice. With tears of gratitude, I embraced that child in me who always knew the route to freedom was to express her emotions. She dared even to find laughter in even the most adverse situations.
It has taken me up until today, for me to understand that my Inner Child always trusted me. It was just the fears fed me by my borderline parent, that got in the way of self-trust. Today I cook my own meals.