Step Seven reads, "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings." That very first word, "humble" was not what I might think I needed for my recovery. For example, if I put my borderline mother's needs ahead of my own any more, what will it bring me but abuse?
Then I considered the reading from Alanon, which suggested I'd "confused humility with humiliation." Humility does not mean asking for mercy from the unmerciful. Today's reading reminds me that it means "the ability to see my true relationship to God and to my fellow human beings."
What about the second word, asked? I had learned that the authority figures in my life would rarely give me what I asked. Well, today I am building a more healthy family and relationships with health practitioners where I can admit my needs and ask for help in getting the answers I need. And, if I don't find my answers in one fellowship, I know I can find them in another.
The last word, shortcomings, is also not as emotionally charged as I thought. (I prefer it to the phrase, "defects of character." Some may translate the word, shortcomings as faults, sins, or mistakes. I won't argue with them for even those words need not make me feel ashamed. I am human and a shortcoming is only a block that can "prevent me from reaching my full potential and distance from my Higher Power....I can ask for help in becoming free of all that blocks me from my true self."
Let me use the program to improve my life and to further my recovery. Let me always remember that I work with the Divine Healer.
I chose the following quote because I feel it embodies that quality of humility so essential to our recovery:
When I stand before thee at the day's end, Thou shalt see my scars and know that I had my wounds and also my healing.
(Adapted for personal use from June 9th's Courage to Change in Alanon.)