First things First means working on my self-esteem. When I am at peace with ME, I am a more comfortable participant in all my interactions. When I treat myself with kindness and respect, my "kinder, gentler" me can better get along with others. An interesting by-product is that if I take care of me, first, I am less likely to get angry later at myself, or want to let that anger out on anyone else!
Can I appreciate that all my instincts and feelings exist for a reason? Instead of trying to banish my feelings, let me find perspective.