December 16, 2011

Boundaries, Cross Talk, and Hindsight

I was thinking back to meetings I have been a part of, and how sometimes my efforts to be inclusive and make others feel at home, backfire.

In one rural meeting, with just a handful of us in the room, I wanted to demystify the Higher Power for a newbie.

As I shared, I talked about the down-to-earthness of my understanding of my HP,   I joked about how some of my program friends believed in a parking God. (Heck, sometimes I do. Like, I find myself saying, "Thank you God for just this amazing parking spot!" when they are really hard to come by in our current busy downtown.)

I was sharing that my Higher Power is that small still voice (meaning intuition) , and that my HP rarely talks to me in a voice I can HEAR.   I was thinking that hearing voices, for me, would be a disease symptom. 

In the middle of my share, a person at our table piped up and said, "I feel sorry for you!"

I was the leader that day. I find it nearly impossible to correct cross talk when it is my turn to share, except by just plowing right over the breach.   

I do not appreciating being pitied, so I continued on, 
"...For me, that would be hearing voices, and my HP never wants to freak me out!" 

I never followed up with her privately. Today I would. Given that person's rudeness, I would say "Perhaps you were unaware that you spoke in the middle of my sharing? Someone else with less experience might have been silenced by your interruption. Please be more considerate of the group and the person sharing."

That, today, seems very appropriate, especially in light of my recent friend fart.

"Your vision will become clear, only when you can look into your own heart."  Carl Jung


  1. yikes! that person clearly was not having a good moment-i think you did good to not embarrass her in front of the group but i do agree that that kind of judgmental cross-talk can be very damaging for the newcomer to witness.

  2. Lex. I like that you put it so matter-of-factly. My "cross-talker," having a bad moment. A reframing my awkwardness, to give ME the benefit of the doubt, when I simply did not know what to say!

    I thank you.


I welcome your thoughts. Keep me honest~