March 10, 2012

Joy, Action and Rest

I got a closet cleared this past week. A dear friend helped me and it was good to have action and laughter.
I am seriously glad now our family has a safe place to be should a tornado hit this spring. We already had tornados sweep through our area, the night our neighbor (H)  sat vigil as his wife, Joy, was dying from cancer a week ago.  I think the tornados were the least of H's concern. But, I used last Friday night's storm as warning, and an invitation to do a closet inventory this past week.
Our friend Joy, is gone.  Even as I try to "shoulder" our family's destiny and soldier on. I haven't talked much to H about it, keeping private, I guess. It has crossed my mind that Joy's passing on Saturday as the skies were clearing, is not something I'm bearing well. 
When I overwork my arm, my personal joy at being alive seems to vanish, too. I think that increases my guilt, when I cannot do what needs to be done.

I am so right-handed, that I when my right shoulder is re-experiencing old trauma (old work and relationship injuries), I am almost rendered powerless. I find I must lie down at times, and let my right arm rest.
It is when I rest, that I feel my griefs, old and new, all mixed up. 
Maybe I am just supposed to grieve, do small pieces of focused work (off-computer) and re-intrgrate my losses, by resting? 
Our trip to check out our new home, this coming week, may help serve as a rest from the computer. May all who walk with me in this be blessed, and may you weather your grief and losses by staying in the moment. I know joy and contentment can be found as I stay close to my heart.


  1. I am sorry for your loss. Griveing, though painful, does usher us into joy as we remember our beautiful memories. Don't be afraid...

  2. I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. Be gentle with yourself. Glad you are giving yourself the chance to grieve. Sending you a hug.

  3. Thanks all for stopping by. I feel like the grief evaporates by day. I find I cry at night, silently. Not unlike water seeping from a rock outcrop.

  4. I'm sorry to hear about Joy. Death makes me think of my own mortality. It is a fear. I have much that I want to do. And this life is so sweet. So I'm not going to project something that has no evidence of being imminent. I'm going to live this day as fully as I can.


I welcome your thoughts. Keep me honest~