My story proved to be untrue and rarely helpful for DF. I listened carefully to the way she told her story, and could hear and see where she had her own distorted perspectives. After a good while, her stories of her life were tough for me to hear, without asking questions. So as not to threaten her, I tried to refrain from that too. With limited success.
The ultimate test, for me, came when I was "dissed" for asking my friend questions that might help her develop a detailed model of the work she feels called to do. When she told me that she is a person who does not plan, I got very confused. I felt very inadequate.
In fact, she dissed me for being a "planner." I did not get to where I am in my life, without planning.