Let me recognize that when I encounter some difficulties in maintaining my discipline, this is a reminder (or teacher) that my efforts always depend on God. It is so easy to forget this when things are going well. But a weak moment, even just a lapse in my devotion during meditation and prayer, renews my feeling of dependence on something greater than myself.
"Setbacks are friends to faith," says my Lenten teacher.
Larger setbacks, like those I have experienced in my hospital stays, give me stronger lessons, in revealing who I am.
Each one of those is an invitation to revisit my ground zero, the clearing space of Step One.
And to begin to use the antidote to Step One and draw closer to, and depend on, God.