It is possible that my story confused a woman at our meeting. I had spoken, interpreting the reading I shared yesterday, and how it related to my recent experiences with electronic communication, where it can be to easy to offend. And then I shared on where I was in my FOO, in being direct and setting boundaries before I feel offended.
The less-experienced member expressed how much doubt she felt, in making her own choices, directing her speech to the leader. She rambled a bit, and we tried to follow her, then she asked if what she was saying was still on topic.
That is when our gracious leader, looked in the index of Courage to Change, for a reading on doubt, and found this:
I often struggle to know what is my will and what is God's. I feel serenity slipping from me while a war is waged within my mind and loud voices urge me to take one path or another.
Doubt is an unavoidable companion of spiritual seekers. I don't have an instruction book, so I must continue to explore and challenge my perceptions. I know that to explore and challenge perceptions. I know that when I feel a desperate urge to act, it is usually my will that is pushing, and when I feel a calm certainty, it is usually God's. But much of the time, I don't have such a clear indication. What then? Sometimes I wait for clarity or try to listen more closely for guidance; I may share my confusion and for the wisdom of others; or I may just make a choice, take an action, and see what happens. More will be revealed when the time is right, no matter what choice I make. Since I have turned my will and my life over to God and any choice I make can be used to carry out his will.
Today's I will remember that uncertainty is not a fault, but an opportunity. Everything I do and everything that crosses my path--people, places, ideas--all have the potential to contribute to my growth and understanding. Just for today, I don't have to know what that contribution will be.
"There lives more faith in honest doubt, Believe me, than in half the creeds." Alfred, Lord Tennyson