August 25, 2016

Begin with the Began

Boy have I been humbled in the past few weeks. And am I glad to be putting these steps back into practice, in this ongoing trip round the 12 steps. (I like to picture the steps arranged the way the numbers are on a clock's face;  I picture myself at the center, ready to use whichever steps seem most appropriate. One, Two, Three, Eleven and Twelve are the most often used for me.)  For newbies, it may help to  know the steps for most of us are not done once, but somehow we do at least one,  Daily.

I have not shared that recently, I revisited my vulnerability.  It's months ago now, but I find myself under the streetlamp looking for the keys. You know the story.

So, I am especially Aware of my powerlessness. It is painful to admit my life was completely unmanageable.  But I can admit it, without needing to overdo Step One, or dwell in shame.  

I sure am glad I was willing to dwell there and feel the "quick" that had been exposed from my emotional injuries.  I will likely share more details when something in my story speaks to another person's post/ recovery.  

In the meantime, what seems most important is dwelling in the solution (s). The bruised ego and spirit are healed by my living each day and gently applying the tools. Being willing to apply the tools in new ways and old, allows  me to "come back" more and more to myself.  I don't try too hard to be systematic.   I am finding written materials as I need them;  that is enough for me... My latest Awakening (Awareness) has a sense of purpose. 

Thank HP for this simple, but profound, program. Now off to make a sweet potato peanut soup.


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