April 10, 2010

Courage to Say "NO" to Negativity

I rediscovered another reading that a dear friend was given as a guideline, by her psychiatrist! It spoke to detachment but lacked the emphasis on detachment with love, that is in the spirit of Al-anon. With a few variations, I came up with the following.

Always open to your thoughts.


Nothing is more important than that I feel good about who I am. Therefore, I am going to do my best to put aside anything but positive thoughts. This means that I will try to think only good thoughts about you. While you may think this is wonderful, there is one catch: I may have to distance and detach from you in order to do this.

If I must distance myself in some ways as I learn to find a positive place of focus for myself, it is my hope that you will not take it personally. From this point on, I will not be able to listen to your fear, your criticism or your anger, as I cannot feel whole when surrounded by negativity. In order to stay in a positive place for myself I am going to detach, with love, from all that is negative around me and focus on only attracting positive things to me.

This will allow me to see things as they really are, for I cannot grow from a place that is full of frustration, anger, despair or feeling overwhelmed, through over-emphasizing the negative.

You may feel that I no longer care or will no longer be there for you. I can assure you that I will be consistently trying to think nothing but positive thoughts for you too. I will focus my thoughts of you on my hope that you get the desires and passions of your life. I will care that you find your happiness and joy. However, I realize that I am not the creator of your joy and that only you can create the things in your life that you want.

If what you want is a sounding board for your miseries or a target for your anger, then I will not be there for you. I am committed to finding joy in my life and wish for us both to thrive. If you choose to join me in accepting life on its terms, and in thriving through difficulties in this new way, I welcome you to be with me, but there will be no room for negativity. If you try to join me in negativity, then I will need to put myself first. If I find myself staying in your negativity, then I know I have some quiet homework to do! Cleaning up my side of the fence may require that I leave the scene and detach with love.

Today I am painfully aware that I cannot be weak enough to make anyone else strong, or sad enough to make anyone else happy, or confused enough to make anyone else clear, or passive enough to make anyone else a leader. I cannot and will not lose me to make a better or more complete you.

I will focus on my own desires and eagerly travel on my journey to finding joy. The measure of my success will be how much joy I attract from others and how much joy I share with others. Can you live with your joy? Then come with me, if not, I will venture forward on my own, hoping we may meet again in a new way.

1 comment:

  1. This is wonderful Smitty! I would like to post this over on my blog and give a link to you. Let me know if that is okay.


I welcome your thoughts. Keep me honest~