One of the wonderful, but unexpected, benefits of working the program is learning how to relax. Until now, most of my life was spent in a frenzy of activities. School work, projects, obligations, all helped me focus outward. That way, I didn't have to rest long enough to feel how frightful my home life was.
There is nothing wrong with working hard and producing results, but I was abusing these activities. They were socially acceptable ways to deny my feelings. Both family and society supported my hiding behind them, until, breaten down and exhausted, I reached the doors of our program rooms. By that time I couldn't have relaxed if I had wanted to--I didn't know how it was done.
In our program it was suggested that I would not treat anyone as harshly as I treated myself. I would never ask someone I loved to go without rest, never letting up and never having any fun. But that was exactly what I asked of myself. My sponsor helped me to learn what gave me pleasure and how to take it easy. Now relaxation is part of my daily routine.
Hard work can be terrific, and my activities can be highly rewarding. But I am striving for some balance. Today I will look at how I spend my time, and set some of that time, and set some of my time aside to relax.
"The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time." Bertrand Russell