I am learning that to do my program with integrity, it helps to think of myself as a newbie always.
I think the power in step one is in our efforts to make the wording (understanding) of this step uniquely our own. Then to share it with others, who may find it challenges their program walk.
On a good day I can easily make step one make sense. On a bad day, I'll have said something taboo!
Let's see which side of that line I am on today. I understand Step One (Powerlessness over my Emotions) this way:
Emotions are a God-given gift to me-- they tell me how I am experiencing the world right now. Where I make my life unmanageable is when I insist on "having it my way" with my emotions. It is easy to forget that the only real power I have is in accepting my emotions and learning to detach from the thoughts that perpetuate my suffering. HP helps me to discern their significance when I allow myself to simply feel my emotions, observe my thoughts and learn to understand where both come from.
The real power I have with my emotions comes in learning (more each day) how to use new tools that allow me to experience my emotions, not run from, suppress, deny or wrestle with them...
That's it from me, the wordy Smith
In Al-Anon, I have learned to feel the feelings and not run from them. I inventory what is going on and do my best to process it. Most of my difficult times come down to being fear based and forgetting about Steps 2 and 3.
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