September 25, 2010

My Technicolor Past

Did you come to the program with a story that seemed ready to splash across every inch of a wide screen?

I  got a laugh from the reading today. To think that the story of my family of origin might be viewed as "an epic technicolor movie, an extravaganza with my name in lights on the marquee." In reality, I agree with today's reading, and accept the more humbling version:  that my stories are "just home movies."

Only lately have I given up my desire to see my name in lights on the marquee, though from time to time I  write parts of the story in case it might help someone else.

Long before I came to program I told my story to every friend that would listen. By the time I arrived in Al-anon,  I'd stopped because I felt my story was terminally unique.  In Al-anon I had the distinct relief to find out others nodded their heads with recognition, and when I heard others tell my story. Then there came a day when I realized it was the life at hand that was worth living in technicolor.

Today, I feel happy to creating a new show, with a changed role for myself.  I don't want big drama, complete with loud voices and problems that are never resolved.  Realism, even humor, have changed the story line.  I agree today that, "My role is important, but not unique, and I don't expect to see it in lights."

It lightens my burden to read, 

"Al-anon has given me an opportunity to share my home movies with others.  My situation is neither the best nor the worst. Although I am unique in some ways, I am more like others than I ever suspected. I will appreciate this sense of fellowship today."

" we learn to place our problem in its true perspective, we find it loses its power to dominate our thoughts and our lives." Suggested Al-anon/Alateen Welcome


  1. That reading was read aloud at a meeting this past week, and we all laughed. It's a relief to give up the need for drama, and instead be willing to "watch home movies" with the other folks around the table. Thanks for this.

  2. I am glad to not be unique anymore with regard to my story. I hear it over and over. I think that there are slight variations but basically we are much alike in the rooms.

  3. I love hearing that we are sharing the same story as we sit in meeting and listen. I feel especially blessed by the fact that I am welcome in Al-anon even though I have no direct experience with an active alcoholic. My mother is an adult child of an alcoholic and used fear and anger as her drug.

    I had friends in college, men, who were alcoholic; and a boyfriend whose mother was a hidden alcoholic, but I never an intimate partner who was.

    By the grace of God, I was spared that pain, but I find that even a distant pebble of alcoholism in Life's pond, is felt by those in different times and across great distances. My borderline mother lives 300o miles away, but I carry my wounds still.

    I feel honored that I am allowed to share in our meetings. I take lots of anonymous notes, so that I can remind myself of what I need to take into my life outside the rooms....


I welcome your thoughts. Keep me honest~