I do find that I react to bad behavior that is directed at me..... in ways I am not proud of. I justify my retaliating with whines... "He/she did it first!" Alanon does tell us we don't have to accept unacceptable behavior.
But wait. I can choose not to act in a way that is unacceptable to me even when someone treats me in a way I find unacceptable.
My mother is a good case in point. She seems to need to get me alone on the phone and take pot shots at my character. Yes, I want to set her straight and slam her back with my words and my justified anger. But I will not like myself when I get done. Instead I have learned to respond in the least energy demanding way possible.
I am powerless over other people's attitudes, but I refuse to permit them to goad me into lowering my own standards for myself. To the best of my ability, I choose to treat others with courtesy. They are, of course, free to make their choices, but I do not have to join them in a fight nor let them under my skin.
Today's Reminder is quotable,
"Today I will let it begin with me. I do not have to accept unacceptable behavior; I can begin by refusing to accept it from myself. I can choose to behave courteously and with dignity."
So is this, also credited to Alanon: My freedom and independence do not depend on any acts of defiance or confrontation. They depend on my own attitudes and feelings. If I am always reacting, then I am never free.
"When you live in reaction, you give your power away. Then you get to experience what you gave your power to. ~N. Smith
"When you live in reaction, you give your power away. Then you get to experience what you gave your power to. ~N. Smith
I like that this is a program of action and not reaction.
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