I do find that I react to bad behavior that is directed at me..... in ways I am not proud of. I justify my retaliating with whines... "He/she did it first!" Alanon does tell us we don't have to accept unacceptable behavior.
But wait. I can choose not to act in a way that is unacceptable to me even when someone treats me in a way I find unacceptable.
"When you live in reaction, you give your power away. Then you get to experience what you gave your power to. ~N. Smith