September 23, 2010

Not accepting unacceptable behavior.... from ME~

I do find that I react to bad behavior that is directed at me..... in ways I am not proud of.  I justify my retaliating with whines... "He/she did it first!"    Alanon does tell us we don't have to accept unacceptable behavior.

But wait.  I can choose not to act in a way that is unacceptable to me even when someone treats me in a way I find unacceptable.

My mother is a good case in point. She seems to need to get me alone on the phone and take pot shots at my character. Yes, I want to set her straight and slam her back with my words and my justified anger. But I will not like myself when I get done. Instead I have learned to respond in the least energy demanding way possible.

I am powerless over other people's attitudes, but I refuse to permit them to goad me into lowering my own standards for myself. To the best of my ability, I choose to treat others with courtesy. They are, of course, free to make their choices, but I do not have to join them in a fight nor let them under my skin. 

Today's Reminder is quotable, 

"Today I will let it begin with me. I do not have to accept unacceptable behavior; I can begin by refusing to accept it from myself. I can choose to behave courteously and with dignity."

So is this, also credited to Alanon:  My freedom and independence do not depend on any acts of defiance or confrontation. They depend on my own attitudes and feelings. If I am always reacting, then I am never free.

"When you live in reaction, you give your power away.  Then you get to experience what you gave your power to.  ~N. Smith

1 comment:

  1. I like that this is a program of action and not reaction.


I welcome your thoughts. Keep me honest~