January 12, 2011

January 12: How to Live and Let Live when the Family Swarms

 When it is OK to be Alone

"Early one morning, I stopped to watch a colony of bees. A little intimidated by the frenzied motion and intense buzzing, I reminded myself that if I didn't poke my nose into their hive, I wouldn't get stung.  If I chose to maintain a safe distance from a dangerous situation, I would be fine.

To me, this is exactly the lesson that detachment teaches.  The choice is mine. When I sense that a situation is dangerous to my physical, mental, or spiritual well-being, I can put extra distance between myself and the situation. Sometimes this means that I don't get too emotionally involved in a problem; sometimes I may physically leave the room or end a conversation. And sometimes I try to put spiritual space between myself and another person's alcoholism or behavior.  This doesn't mean I stop loving the person, only that I acknowledge the risks to my own well-being and make choices to take care of myself.

Today's Reminder

Now I know how to end an argument by simply refusing to participate, to turn to my Higher Power for help with whatever I'm powerless to change, to say, "No," when I mean no, and to step back from insanity rather than diving into it. Detachment is a loving gift I continue to give to myself and to others."

"If a man carries his own lantern, he need not fear darkness." Hasidic saying

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