(Inspired by March 12th’s Courage to Change in Alanon.)
Another person's mood, tone of voice, or state of dysfunction need not affect my course of action, unless I decide so.
In the past I would frequently find myself arguing with a person whose sole purpose seemed to inflict guilt on me. Why did I always take the argumentative path? Was it me, just following the lead of someone more determined than me?
I have had quite enough of this default path. I am finally allowing program to make its subtler points to me. Just as today’s author says: “I do not have to react just because I have been provoked, and I don't have to take harsh words to heart. “
Let me remember that my provocations are probably coming from a person who is in pain. I never need to allow a hurting person to provoke me into contributing more pain to our interactions.Before I argue, let me take time to feel compassion for both of us.
“Detachment with love means that I stop depending upon what others do, say, or feel to determine my own well-being, or to make my decisions.” Do I find myself afraid of my parent’s destructive attitude and behavior? Let me remember I have the power to “Love their best and never fear their worst.”
...."Detachment is not caring less, it's caring more for my own serenity..." In all our affairs