March 14, 2011

I have had enough! Detaching With Love

(Inspired by March 12th’s Courage to Change in Alanon.)

Another person's mood, tone of voice, or state of dysfunction need not affect my course of action,  unless I decide so.

In the past I would frequently find myself arguing with a person whose sole purpose seemed to inflict guilt on me. Why did I always take the  argumentative path? Was it me, just following the lead of  someone more determined than me? 

I have had quite enough of this default path.  I am finally allowing program to make its subtler points to me. Just as today’s author says: “I do not have to react just because I have been provoked, and I don't have to take harsh words to heart. “

Let me remember that my provocations are probably coming from a person who is in pain. I never need to allow a hurting person to provoke me into contributing more pain to our interactions.Before  I argue, let me take time to feel compassion for both of us.   

“Detachment with love means that I stop depending upon what others do, say, or feel to determine my own well-being, or to make my decisions.”   Do I find myself afraid of my parent’s destructive attitude and behavior? Let me remember I have the power to  “Love their best and never fear their worst.”

...."Detachment is not caring less, it's caring more for my own serenity..." In all our affairs


  1. Thanks, I truly needed to hear this today.

  2. Most welcome. It's got me on track for my next encounter with my "qualifier."

  3. I do know that with some people I have to speak my truth, especially when they are walking on me. I can say that I am not comfortable and walk away. Keeping a healthy boundary is good.


I welcome your thoughts. Keep me honest~