March 13, 2011

Giving it One More Try...

(Inspired by March 11th's reading from Courage to Change in Alanon.)

If only I could say this of my dysfunctional family member: “He's finally minding his own business.”

Maybe I would do better to laugh, shedding some lightness on “a serious subject, [my own] defects of character that seem so hard to shake. Laughter makes [my own] frailties seem easier to bear, and we can forgive [others as we forgive ourselves] for our imperfections.”

My recent conversation with my mom, which I may share here in the coming days, makes me very open to March 11th’s reading in CTC. I do want myself “ try less, accept more, and let go of my impatience, self-criticism, and self-hatred.” 

In that vein, I am grateful for the simplest changes in my attitude towards myself. It lightens my heart, to see that I am less likely to cringe at my flaws or use them to beat myself up. 

Let me use this prayer suggestion: "Help me Higher Power… to remember that the purpose of making mistakes is to prepare myself to make more; help me remember that when I am no longer making mistakes, I'll be out of this world."

That last line makes me chuckle.

I love that I see the ways in which I am forever a beginner. There are challenges for me to face, even in picking up the phone.  I can’t assume that my most problematic people will always be the same puzzle tomorrow that they were yesterday, because life is ever changing.   Because I too am in constant change, “every tiny action I take involves some risk of making a mistake.”  

I agree that it takes courage to participate in life. Let me take a moment to applaud myself;  I am doing a terrific job just by showing up and giving it a try.

"My Higher Power is the confidence within me that makes me unafraid to make mistakes." As We Understand


  1. Talking to my mother wakes me up to working my program in a deeper way. She is one of my qualifiers it is painful to listen to her on the phone.
    I am powerless over other persons choices and attitudes. She has an HP as I do. Keeping the focus on myself helps me, one day at a time.
    By changing myself I change the world.

  2. I do like your way of putting this, Di-Git. It is painful for me to too to listen my "qualifier" on the phone. And then, sometimes, it helps me to realize that she thinks I am also the source of her pain. How to step away from a painful mirror and just focus on the One person my HP has given me to live with, yesterday, today and tomorrow?

  3. There are people with whom I truly have to detach from. I do this as kindly as I can. We are sick people getting well in some form. Some are just still sick.

  4. There are people from whom detachment is so difficult. I am either too pissed off to do it kindly.... or I am afraid that if I detach it will become obvious to them that I really do find loving them to be nearly impossible. I find the slogan, Detach with Love, is slowly becoming effective, when I accept that, with really destructive and negative people, the Love I use for detaching... is my love for ME.


I welcome your thoughts. Keep me honest~