If only I could say this of my dysfunctional family member: “He's finally minding his own business.”
Maybe I would do better to laugh, shedding some lightness on “a serious subject, [my own] defects of character that seem so hard to shake. Laughter makes [my own] frailties seem easier to bear, and we can forgive [others as we forgive ourselves] for our imperfections.”
My recent conversation with my mom, which I may share here in the coming days, makes me very open to March 11th’s reading in CTC. I do want myself “ try less, accept more, and let go of my impatience, self-criticism, and self-hatred.”
In that vein, I am grateful for the simplest changes in my attitude towards myself. It lightens my heart, to see that I am less likely to cringe at my flaws or use them to beat myself up.
Let me use this prayer suggestion: "Help me Higher Power… to remember that the purpose of making mistakes is to prepare myself to make more; help me remember that when I am no longer making mistakes, I'll be out of this world."
That last line makes me chuckle.
I love that I see the ways in which I am forever a beginner. There are challenges for me to face, even in picking up the phone. I can’t assume that my most problematic people will always be the same puzzle tomorrow that they were yesterday, because life is ever changing. Because I too am in constant change, “every tiny action I take involves some risk of making a mistake.”
I agree that it takes courage to participate in life. Let me take a moment to applaud myself; I am doing a terrific job just by showing up and giving it a try.
"My Higher Power is the confidence within me that makes me unafraid to make mistakes." As We Understand
Talking to my mother wakes me up to working my program in a deeper way. She is one of my qualifiers it is painful to listen to her on the phone.
ReplyDeleteI am powerless over other persons choices and attitudes. She has an HP as I do. Keeping the focus on myself helps me, one day at a time.
By changing myself I change the world.
I do like your way of putting this, Di-Git. It is painful for me to too to listen my "qualifier" on the phone. And then, sometimes, it helps me to realize that she thinks I am also the source of her pain. How to step away from a painful mirror and just focus on the One person my HP has given me to live with, yesterday, today and tomorrow?
ReplyDeleteThere are people with whom I truly have to detach from. I do this as kindly as I can. We are sick people getting well in some form. Some are just still sick.
ReplyDeleteThere are people from whom detachment is so difficult. I am either too pissed off to do it kindly.... or I am afraid that if I detach it will become obvious to them that I really do find loving them to be nearly impossible. I find the slogan, Detach with Love, is slowly becoming effective, when I accept that, with really destructive and negative people, the Love I use for detaching... is my love for ME.
ReplyDelete