It wasn't all that long ago that I thought I was only deserving of something when I didn't have to ask for it and it came magically to me. I guess I believed that others "should" read my mind.
Truth is, no one else can really know the contents of my mind, heart or soul. For my needs to be met I must speak up.
Truth is, no one else can really know the contents of my mind, heart or soul. For my needs to be met I must speak up.
Before I began recovery, I thought others close to me were supposed to know what I was feeling, without my needing to tell them! If I was angry, and my mate did not want to argue, I was resentful. When I was hurting and wanted comfort, I would pout. When I wanted to understand what I was thinking, I talked non-stop.
Any wonder that I did not get the response I wanted?
Today I know that when I ask for help and the first person I talk to is unable to provide what I need, I can always ask someone else. As today's CTC author puts it, "This takes pressure off all of us." Thankfully, I've learned my needs are often met in God's time, and by a variety of different people.
Mind-reading is an expectation from my past. Today I accept that others can't read my mind and I am glad they can't! Nor do I expect myself to read the minds of other people, either. It seems to me that, by being willing to ask for and encouraging others to do the same, we are all learning greater respect for our differences.
I am so grateful to know that help, caring and support are available to me. All I need to do is reach out and ask, and then be willing to let others decide if they can help me.
You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need. The Rolling Stones
thank you. I am a recovering alcoholic and i too struggle with the emotional aspect of my life. This was a great post to read, I feel like you wrote down verbatim my behavior and expectations of other people. This has helped me realize that I must speak up in order to "get what i want" and if I don't-I can't very well get upset if others do fall into line with my thoughts, that they can't read!
ReplyDeleteThanks Lex, for stopping by and sharing. The emotional aspects are what get us caught.... for me, writing this lit a lightbulb too.
ReplyDeleteMy husband tells me often, "I don't read minds." I find I have to remind my son of this too, and teaching young ones to communicate their emotional needs, when they might only be peripherally aware, is a new challenge! How to apply program to that, I ask myself.