March 5, 2011

What, Defects of Character?

At first, the thought of having my character defects removed was disturbing. I didn’t like the term, much less the idea that I might lose a part of myself that, quite frankly, I’ve grown attached to. But others ahead of me did not look like Swiss cheese; their happiness assured me it was OK to take the next steps.

It really helps me to repeat the words of March 5th's CTC to myself: Nowhere in Steps Four through Seven do we ask God to add anything, but rather to take away the things we don’t need.  Only experience takes away doubt; I could not be sure that Steps Six and Seven would work until I worked those Steps and felt the relief the program promised me.

The way I see it now, God takes only the negative perceptions that keep me hanging onto my shortcomings. What I found was that every single shortcoming that was removed hid an asset. By letting go of these wrong perceptions, which I assuredly did not need, I was able to experience my feelings, skills and strengths.  I learned that everything I need is already present in me.

As I recover, I come to see that my Higher Power is always one step ahead of me, and has provided me with whatever I need. It is my job to keep it simple and ask for help in taking away the extra stuff—the shortcomings that tie me down.

“Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised." American proverb

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