I love that the program promises we can live at peace with unsolved problems. Today I crave the fruit of that promise, but only have the sourest of lemons.
Tonight my problem is baseball. We knew our son was not the best player on the team. But we did not see him as being worst. Our son is sensitive. Our son has potential. Our son is improving. He wants to please his dad. Me, I am pretty clueless, a lot of the time. Still learning.
But the reality for my son and his watching dad who is really aware of all that is going on, is that our son is only played for a couple of innings each game. My husband feels he is not given enough chances to succeed. Tonight I asked our coach what we could do to have our son played more innings.
Instead the coach gave me a reality check: that our son has the worst batting stats of any player. He told me that he could have shared the stats with all the parents to be fair (I guess we are not the only parents who are upset), but that would only single out our son. (this last bit I kept to myself, because coach did not mean it as a threat.)
Quite honestly, I my husband and son to make peace with reality, because then I can relax. But I also want us all to be able to be honest. So for the time being, there is pain, and no one is able to laugh it away.
I am realizing it is an impossibility to ask my son and husband to be happy anyways. Impossible if our really believe people are powerless over their emotions, right? But we are not powerless over our thinking. Or I don't think so. If I make peace with the difference between my desires and reality, I know like can be downright livable, why oh why can't they do this too?
They say it's only a game. My husband is always on our son to have fun. Yet he is not a great role model. I am terribly confused.