Not really wanting to go the route of analysis, which as of late has led me to paralysis.... I gave a bird's eye view of my triggers and LOOKED for the GOOD in what I have already done this week, to cope. I found positive steps taken following EACH triggering baseball game (and my family's emotional responses) and my own over-reactions to the night game that ended at 9:00..... and the storm that followed.
I shared with my therapist that I have discovered a three step approach earlier this week to working directly with negative emotions that I hope to experiment with. The blessing is a nice puzzle piece that fits right in with 12-step work. A good bit of what I shared with her was explicitly program. This felt cool!
I shared my intention with my therapist, to use that approach throughout the next few days, and to share the results of my experiment next time I see her. We have finally uncovered and identified something toxic that I do to myself called SHAME.
Maybe, in getting to understand shame I will learn to use my three step approach, called Welcoming Prayer. I can practice it any time of day, and it does not need to take even 20 minutes. I already experienced (under one set of ideal conditions) that it is a wonderful way to truly Let Go.... I shared it with a dear agnostic, and was not scoffed overmuch!