May 6, 2011

Pondering... Not Worrying

I give thanks to the laugher shared with a dear friend last night.  We laughed about the stressors I was putting on myself about the as-yet-not-formalized move our family expects to take.... sometime and somewhere that we will be told in the near future (which could be tomorrow, next week, next month, or later this summer).  We were sharing our frustrations with men, too, for my husband is in denial that this someday-somewhere move is affecting his stress levels.  I guess program buddies can allow each other to complain and commiserate about the people  in our lives, but not for long. Talking with my friend always ends up in some fun discovery and our minds  burst open like umbrellas!

Suddenly my friend told me that her husband is a thinker.  She went on to suggest my husband is a thinker, too. Maybe that is why we have such problems?  I agreed with her,  but then she said "I think you are a thinker."  ("You think?")  I got curious and asked her what she is...

It did not take long for us to puzzle out that she is a ponderer!    

The gift she gave me last night was permission to ponder and reflect on the challenge of a potential move... for as long as I needed to! Ponder is a word filled with possibility, and not fraught with worry and catastroph-izing...

I am pondering the possibilities for serenity.

Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.

- Swedish Proverb


  1. I a similar discussion last night about the perils of being a thinker. Since my head has cleared with the help of the steps I seem to be looking at things from the outside instead of getting lost in the drama. Accepting that this is who I am instead of trying to comform has helped relieve the stress of not fitting in with the care free folks.

  2. I sometimes AM care-free, but there is a part of me that was traumatized in a care-free phase of my life, and at times of great change I become over-vigilant.... in order to try to protect myself I think.

    Thanks Grace for sharing your thoughts. Gives me something more to ponder!

  3. I am both when the situation calls for it. But I cannotintellectualize the program or recovery. I have to feel that in my heart too.


I welcome your thoughts. Keep me honest~