I have used a particular path in my recovery, only to be told that I cannot use it any more. It was done lovingly, but very firmly. The boundary is right there in black and white in an email, yet I am yearning to go back into the field where I did my serious wordplay. Resisting the urge is taking quite a bit from me. Makes me wonder if the best thing for my recovery may be to leave that forum and live my program here and face-to-face.
Boundaries. I like them when I am setting them. Or maybe it is not a matter of liking, but knowing the action is needed.
When the boundary is set for or because of me, I am left wondering... what I have done wrong. Or feeling I have been wronged. The shame I felt in my meditation tonight, once I slowed down and looked inside, led to a quiet but constant flow of tears.
In my face-to-face EA group, members share from movies, therapy and whatever helps them articulate their steps and tools. Our group conscience has led members to that place of acceptance. And online, here online, I can just BE and share as I feel moved. Paraphrase from any program I like that helps me.
My share tonight has to do with the use of quotes from outside wisdom... in my shares on another program's forum. I know the trustees are technically right... but they are also wrong when it comes to my feelings. They are also wrong when I compare the readings from EA to those from Alanon. A few quotes here and there, would make a world of our already good literature. In Alanon, there are quotes included at the end of each daily reading. In Alanon.... ah, but comparisons, aren't they obscene.
Instead, let me be glad I have this sanctuary, where I can share as I need to and use all the quotes I need, in order to support my program or lend an alternate perspective...