October 13, 2011

Admitting Powerlessness, Another Backward View

Every meeting is a reminder of powerlessness to us old-timers.  

In an EA meeting, when say, "I am powerless over my emotions," it comes pretty automatically to me these days. But am I really feeling it? Sometimes I make other choices when introducing myself.   Like when I feel my life is really good or really off-track,  I might say, "I am really glad to be here."  

Recently,   a  newbie found herself needing to share that she could not say the "powerlessness statement" when  introducing herself.   

Sometimes, true admission is only comfortable,  after the healing's begun. When we've experienced real power first. 

I can sense when others in recovery have been taught to be ashamed of their emotions, or to manage their emotions with their intellect.  I can understand that admitting powerlessness could be a very ugly proposition for them. It may be more helpful to  for me to encourage them to "live Step One, backwards."

This means we uncover what powerlessness is by tracing a given "unmanageability" to its source. Only when we perceive  HOW our life has become unmanageable, can we realize we have emotions at all.   Only when we know what emotions we actually are experiencing, can we discern which one(s) we might be powerless over.

In meetings I attend, whether EA or a sister program,  the only requirement when a person shares,  is that they let us know their name first, so we can repeat it and affirm whatever they have to share. Whatever is on their heart is what's most important to be said. 

I have learned I need to be Honest, Open and Willing about the details of my mixed up  life, before I can put on a Program.  

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