My dear mom called me yesterday in the middle of my final therapy appointment. Of course I did not answer. But then she got ahold of my son to interrogate him. Got "concerned" (anxiety is her addictive emotion) because he told her I was at a doctor's office. Um. She does not need to know our medical matters, they are private.
We are moving. Moving is stressful, and Mom also has an addiction to looking for the bad.
I do not need my emotional temperature taken by a mom with a personality disorder to add to my anxiety.
I called a few times today to head mom off at the pass, only to get a busy signal. My intention was to express that it would be great to talk AFTER we have made the move.
After coming home from a going-away party, I remembered my intention.
DH told me that my mom would not like her setting boundaries for her.
Well, I don't set boundaries for problem people. I set boundaries for ME, and my peace of mind and sanity. I am clear that I do not want my mom calling to "look for the worst" when the movers are changing our lives forever. (It is a little like someone calling to see how you are doing when you are in the throes of childbirth. I will take that call later, thank you, when my new life has arrived :>)
So, I just rang one last time for the day, and it rang through. I told my dear mom to let us give her a call after we've done our move. I was Kind. Gentle. Upbeat. On the answering machine.
As I left the message, I gave myself an out, not to answer her calls.
Told her if she could not reach me, that it was probably because we were busy with details regarding the new house.
It will be her business how she decides to handle this. A daughter has to know her limitations.