(Quotes adapted for personal use from May 14th's reading in Courage to Change)
Yesterday's reading began with these words: "Our recovery is a discipline that requires diligence, patience and consistency for the best results."
But over breakfast together, some of my program friends challenged the use of the word recovery. We each reflected that we don't even use the word any more. No amount of recovery is "proof" that the program works, nor is relapse proof that it does not work.
Yes. "Regular attendance at meetings, working the Steps and applying the principles to every part of the day lead to a fuller and more enjoyable life."
For each of us "relapse" moments occur daily. We have learned to have the heart to pick ourselves up a bit more willingly and with more sense of humor.
There have even been plateaus or times of stagnation in my program.
"Just when we reach the end of our patience, a doorway seems to open and we suddenly take a huge leap forward. We see that none of the time that was wasted; although we didn't know it, we were quietly absorbing [a new lesson]."
Our move (20 days and counting down) is such a door. It is opening wide and beckoning me out of old safety zones. So naturally, I get to feel anxious, excited, sad, happy.
For now, I continue to walk into the unknown, letting go of something in my old community each day. Saying good-byes to my 12-step fellowships and friends.
Every new meeting I shall attend in "Tennessippi" is unique too. There will be no plateaus in my new community to rest on. I'll be a newcomer.
I pray that I may have the patience to begin anew in my new community.
"Patience is the key to paradise." Turkish proverb