June 28, 2012

Birthdays and the Inceptions of Emotional Recovery

I was busy on my birthday, two days ago.  Somehow I did not write as planned. 

I need remember that the root of the word "plan" means "to wander." Like the early scientists thought the planets did. 

 I can't account for the details of the my birthday, because I let the day unfold.  I simply remember the evening, eating out on our new town's city square.  I insisted on an appetizer and we ate, for the first time since living in the South, fried green tomatoes.

DH ordered a beer brewed in our home state and we each ordered an entree.  I had  wee glass of cabernet, and our son had bottomless (but not priceless) refills.  And dessert.  So it was a mighty bill.  As DH told us when he peeked at the tab and gulped, "We won't be eating out again for awhile."  Oh well, home-made meals are usually better!

Being out on our square, meant we got to walk a bit after dinner and catch an "art crawl." And because DH and I lingered at a local gallery enjoying the paintings (more than our son did), he got his comeuppance in hanging out at the local indie bookstore. All in all a memorable evening. And the growing crescent of the moon was right above us as we called it a day. 

I still  have my "being birthed" on my mind today.  Maybe because a once-ago hospitalization that happened during this same week  some eight  years ago. That "anniversary" stay  re-initiated me to near-ground-levels of powerlessness over my emotions (POME).   My Emotions Anonymous program's "first step."

Step One in EA states that "we admitted (past tense) .."we were (past tense) powerless over our emotions and that our lives had (again past tense) become unmanageable." 
That phrase for me, invites me to be willing to "return to my beginnings," or,  as some might say, "be reborn" in my understanding, every day.  

But particularly when I revisit anniversaries or birthdays, I get to  re-explore old ground.   It helps me to review old concepts, or reinvent them for myself, sometimes using new words.

So I found it interesting when a "newer" member of an online forum challenged many of us when he stated he would never use our landmark statement ("I am POME") in introducing himself. 

Once long ago, it would have blown my emotional cool to hear someone challenge a fundamental in program.

Today, I have other ideas.

How about you? In your program (be it EA or another program that has helped your recovery) is it absolutely key for you to admit, out loud or in print, your ongoing powerlessness?

Whichever way you "weigh in" (yes, no, or indifferent) I want to hear. Only after I hear from you will I share some other perspectives. I am finding the discussion to be both historical and personal. 

Best to all, Smitty


  1. Hello again,,
    (grace always waits)---> Yes, I've once again relocated,, sigh,, I am close to the end of my education and feel a need for less self-disclosure. So, I've been reborn and will start a new blog with my new career!!

    Hmmm, your description of last wknd sounds eerily similar to what one might expect at the BrewFest in Fort Collins Co !! ? Though I'm not sure if you disclosed where you guys relocated. Any event,,

    fun to be back in the blogshpere again!
    Please re-follow me . . . I promise to make it a riveting read (hahaha)

    1. Thanks for stopping by. I shall follow you again; you have me curious...

  2. Happy birthday, Smitty. Sorry that I haven't been around to comment but school has had me busy over the past few weeks.
    I do identify with saying that I am powerless over other people, places, and things. It is the crux of the program in so many ways and is why it is listed as step one. Without believing I am powerless, my life would continue to be unmanageable.

    1. Appreciate that you stopped by, Syd. A busy life with school is great, but time consuming.

      I am still quite busy finding things (er, unpacking).

      Yes, when it comes to being powerless over other people, places and things, I am totally there. I also think many norms who visit our rooms can relate to that being the price of membership.

      But the question still remains, how do you feel about saying "I am who-I-am and powerless over my emotions?"

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    1. Thanks for stopping by, though I am a bit skeptical on second reading, and after following your link. I hope you will stop by for self-transformation and ah-ha moments in your life. Promoting business is NOT my business.

  4. Appreciate that you stopped by, Syd given your busy life with school.

    Powerless over other people, places and things? I am totally there, Syd, and many normies can concede that too, as the price of membership.

    But the question still remains, how do you (and other reading this) feel about saying "I am who-I-am and powerless over my emotions?" Hmm?

  5. Happy Be-lated Birthday Smitty!

    I also use to flinch at any challenge to something I'd come to believe in. But have found I can more openly hear those questions of why or what's the benefit of something. I might learn something! or hear a new perspective that gets me thinking.

    For me, in a meeting I don't always open my share with I am who-I-am and powerless over whatever. (whether that be emotions, people, places or things). However, each day in my meditation or prayers or while I'm doing my daily reading, I do communication with my HP and remind myself that I am powerless over people, places and things. I believe it should be an individual decision to make that announcement or not in front of others. There are no musts and whatever works for our own recovery program. Just my two cents I guess.

  6. I would and do admit that I am powerless over others but I don't know as I would say I am powerless over my emotions. But I am not in your program! i am not powerless over alcohol. But I am powerless over anyone else's use of alcohol and that is my program. Maybe I am not understanding your question?


I welcome your thoughts. Keep me honest~