July 10, 2012

Stuck at the Beginning?

"People have forgotten how to tell a story. Stories don't have a middle or an end any more. They usually have a beginning that never stops beginning."   ~Steven Spielberg

In EA, many good folks continue to introduce themselves as being "Powerless over emotions." As if it were always and forever. To a neophyte in program it might sound indeed like we are always and forever at the beginning.  

How disheartening.

I've been talking with one former member who left our fellowship because it was triggering to hear those words spoken over and over again. We came to agree that 'he" could be right:  In Emotions Anonymous, it would be right to repelled by the tough approach a true addict might need. Many of us needed that "softer" approach AA refuses.

The first warning for some, that EA is not a gentle enough approach, starts with how they hear us introduce ourselves and our stories.

Maybe this is why sometimes a courageous (or contrary) newcomer will finally speak up when they have heard POME spoken for the nth time.  I have shared that three folks (independent of one another), not all of whom were newcomers, bravely say they would never utter those words, "POME" in introducing themselves or others to the program. 

Perhaps the newcomer who does not see the message of hope,  is simply telling us, they need to hear more about the middle and the happier place we have "come to." 
Are we in the middle of creating an ending that is happy and empowering?

Can we share that, as the antidote to powerlessness, first?

1 comment:

  1. Hmm, I suspect we could share how the promises have unfolded in our lives as the first message.

    I feel I work with a double edged sword in regard to powerlessness. I work with chemically addicted men, many of whom have been in gangs in DC, Chicago, Detroit, and many who have been in prison; "powerlessness" is not something they care to pronounce, let alone, 'own'

    But, but but,,, no, I really believe they need to surrender first and experience the way in which this is their "real" strength.


I welcome your thoughts. Keep me honest~