August 23, 2012

Walking the Borderline

Recently a member of my fellowship shared that in doing a daily Step Ten, she found "comfort"  in reviewing her day."  

Comfort. I imagined a cup of tea, a cosy blanket at my feet.  Such a simple way to put Step Ten's daily purpose,  and it gets right to the heart of it.  So grateful at how we influence each other, bit by bit, as we share our daily story.

Last night I got to experience the opposite of this "comfort", almost immediately after I connected with my mom on a phone walk with a beautiful crescent moon in the sky. Often with Nature present, I handle the conversations well now, and I anticipated both of us learning more self-mastery.

Last night, my self-mastery went out the window.  I participated in this defenestration.

After the conversation with mom went terrribly awry, I remembered
Step Ten. And comfort. Had I had that with Mom?  NOT.

Deep breath.  H.A.L.T. 
(the things I forgot last night). 

Walking back home, after hanging up angry,  I had already started a Step Ten. I asked myself, "at what point did you know the conversation was heading for a bonfire... and when did you really decide to grab the can of gasoline?"

In other words, H.O.W. did I decide to get to MAD?  There were many many details in the conversation that contributed to acrimony.  What did I contribute?

1 comment:

  1. That is always the crux of the matter. "What did I contribute?" and then, what can I do differently next time.


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