I lost my Lenten rhythm last week, the very week that was supposed to rise from a deep sorrow into profound joy. With Eastertide.
I was no poster child of emotional health Easter week. But, I can progress this past week. I was pretty darn reasonable in dealing with the grief at the end of my street. Nor am I alone in facing grief and anger at seeing agribusiness twisting the Federal government around its fingers. How comes I didn't notice it before? Well, I guess I believed this President was different. Hmmmph. We are going to be awake from here on out.
Wonder if Obama sleeps well at night?
All I need to know is which of my medications really work for my own personal sleep. Ironically, the one that makes me not care, does not work when I really don't want to care. It is the medication that quells anxiety that helps me to sleep peacefully. For this medicine, and for my ability to be on a lowest possible dosage, I am very very grateful.
My weekend's rest, and serving others in hosting EA meetings, is helping me get back to the remaining study of Lent, and allow its rhythm to work in me towards good, and detach from my fears.
My goal, before the continuing resolution was signed by Obama, was not to fight GMO's. Not at all. And even when I knew more of the truth that was being hidden from us, my goal was not to fight that battle for transparency alone either.
With my setback over Holy Week, I coped by talking my husband's ear off! Now, I can go back to listening to myself. And trusting my sense of things, while praying for HP's guidance.
I will progress in fits and starts. I will progress as a person who cares about the environment, by connecting with other like minded people and acting locally. I will not walk away from this work, but will look for a place for my writing and speaking to have its effect.
With my emotional setback, I have renewed my commitment to reflective time. I am that much more committed to create peace in my garden and not let fear get me too feverishly active. I am hyper-focused when in fear, and I know it is harder for others to listen to me, and me to them.
I think I had to have this setback in order to remember the importance of focus. And to respect my limitations. I can support those on the front lines, who are challenging the biotech industry to be fully honest with itself and us. But I am not front-line material. I suspect I am better at writing poetic words that change people's minds and hearts.
I better understand Rachel Carson and what she did in her short life. She created a beautiful garden of books, and Silent Spring was her swan song. It still rings true and perhaps it will guide us in the years to come.
GMOs are high tech, but under the glitz and the sales pitch, there is still chemistry. And Round Up as we now know, is performing in the industrial garden, in much the same was as DDT. Where insects once became resistant to DDT (and the chemical became more concentrated in animal cells higher in the food chain, like our Bald Eagle)... our weeds are becoming resistant to Round Up....
Monsanto is doing a pretty good job of distracting us from seeing what the effects of its Roundup are on mammals.
And it is not easy for scientists to acquire Round-up ready GMO seeds for independent research to see what the effects are... when animals eat GMO soy, corn, and cotton byproducts. Funny, before modern agriculture no one ate cottonseed oil. Andrew Weil advises against it, because it is a very heavily sprayed crop, with seeds concentrating these chemicals. Yet, GMO cottonseed oil is in most of our food products in the cookie and cracker aisle. And animals are feed cottonseed meal as a protein source...
All is not well in this Eden, just as it was not when Monsanto was busy producing PCB's, pretending all was well to their neighbors, and creating an epidemic of cancer cases in Anniston, Alabama.