Dear Challenging Parent, Nothing Without a Green Light

Dear CP,

If I understand correctly, you have a concern that you might be included in a story that would feature something unfavorable about you.

Do you see your full name anywhere on the internet? I thought not.  I have love to share, and I seek understanding of myself in relation to others.   This means I have no desire to publish anything at your expense.    No intent to publish any story about you, in any form, that would be hurtful.

In fact, you already have seen anything that includes our story that would be considered "published." (Everything else remains in letters between us).  There's nothing, absolutely nothing, that would result in financial gain or defamation.  Prior to any publication of any kind of work that names you, professional integrity demands it be read by you.   I live by that standard.  This anonymous blog is by me and about me, and what I have written here about you, does not violate that standard, because I do not include my own name here, nor otherwise identify you or anyone close to you.

The truth I live by is this: "Each of us has our own story and we write it to help ourselves survive."  Our stories need not agree, in order to help us survive.  Your story contains part of mine. And Einstein said (I paraphrase), that if we achieve anything, it is because we acknowledge the lessons and accomplishments of those on whose shoulders we stand. This means that my story must have part of yours in it, or I am not being respectful of where I come from.

Again, IF there is a story that would benefit others, that identifies you in it, we would both know and agree! Or we would use the legal guidelines of a respected publisher to make the story fictional, but still reflective of the history you lived through, without using your identifying characteristics.

Until that time, if ever, I am happy to consider practicing the craft of writing, privately between us.

Letters are a good start, though I know you don't like writing.  Got concerns? Do put them in writing, and watch how our correspondence may change and heal you.

Best, your daughter