December 16, 2016

Accepting Myself and Set Backs, in My Program Online

I crave being able to share again in my shares with strength here and on the list serves, when HP moves me. 

I was sent a very strong share from a person in my primary program. In it she told me she would no longer be reading my shares; she would delete them so as not to be tempted to react or correct me.  She advised me to do the same, telling me her shares are not so good for me to read right now.

Here is what I shared back: 

"Dear C,  I hope to grow into my  own  strength, one that honors who I am more than my current shares do. I want to intuitively recognize how to be less threatening to your and others'  programs. I read so many good shares on our list serve that I don't want to leave.  (But I think I must for the month ahead, regardless of how hard that is).    

I am on a new recovery path, and I think it is about step eleven and acceptance of boundaries. I never seem to want to correct anyone else’s shares, so I am not sure where my threat comes from, exactly. When I learn to love myself more completely, perhaps that will be more apparent to me. "   

Others on our list serve are so good at staying within their personal boundaries, that I find myself in awe.  EA International has done so well in creating a safe place for others to share, who are more humble and at home in their own skin than I have allowed myself to be!  I highly recommend that others check out the EA International website and see what powerful tools are there.  Consider joining their list serve. 

Then consider whether you might enjoy being part of Big Tent. We have not fully utilized Big Tent's capabilities.  We are set up to be a discussion group, we are self-governing, and most of our interactions are in the open.   We ourselves set up to discuss the Steps and Traditions. That brings with it its own challenges. 

Praying, V

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