December 17, 2016

I Begin Again

I know so many of the tools by heart, from being a long-timer. And yet, here I am, at a crossroads in my recovery and I know how easy it is for me to be judged for not working a "good-enough" program. Let me today just shed my fear and my own judgment of myself. Let me begin my program again, and not deny myself the hope I would extend to any newcomer that comes in the door.


  1. I have experienced many highs and lows during the recovery process. The most painful when I realized just how wrong I had been sometimes. Times when I dug in and just could not me convinced otherwise. Overtime when I had softened a bit I could see just how ridiculous some of my ideas were. I felt freer but embarassed by my immaturity. I had to forgive myself once again for just being human and ordinary. Struggling to be better than I was yesterday. Just like what you said giving myself the grace we give new comers. Knowing we are always doing our best even if it isn't always as good as we would like it to be.

  2. I have to start my program from the ground up frequently when I wake up and realize that I've lost it and am living with a familiar knot in my stomach. It's so easy because it's an old friend (or enemy) and it sneaks into my life by stealth and mercilessly tries to steal my peace.

    All the best to you.


I welcome your thoughts. Keep me honest~