Before I joined Al-anon, I learned about my parent's illness. After some voracious reading about their particular disorder, I finally realized that my spiritual awakening could not be shared with my parent, no matter how much I worked.
I had analyzed and analyzed and analyzed. It was when I came to Al-anon for someone else's problem, that I finally realized how closely my own parent's disorder paralleled alcoholism. I felt so at home that I stayed, in order to use the Twelve Steps and Traditions, to live my own life. Once I Let Go and let God take care of my parent's outcome, I finally was free to change in a way that created lasting inner peace.
The author of today's reading reminds us that the adage " knowledge is power" needs to be kept in perspective: sometimes my thirst for knowledge can be an attempt to exercise power when I am actually powerless. Instead, I may need to use the First Step and ask myself, "Does analyzing my situation provide insights, or is it an attempt to control the uncontrollable?
"Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards."
Soren Kierkegaard
What's interesting is how many times I will catch myself "thinking" that I am analyzing for the "good" of a situation only to realize that this is a program of Action, not thinking...:-)
ReplyDeleteGreat Monday reminder.
xo
Ah yes, I think too much. I can admit that now, and smile. Thank goodness the program is gentle in its approach! Thanks too, Gabriella, for stopping by~
ReplyDeleteI have researched illnesses and death and sought solutions in books for years. But now I realize that I was hoping for answers that I don't have. I like the idea of learning and educating myself but there is a point at which I am simply powerless.
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