Weaving my personal recovery using the fabric of Emotions Anonymous and the healing strands of Alanon.
I'm learning H.O.W. to calm the chaos when my "dry" drunk wreaks havoc.
October 28, 2010
Rebound: The Power of Attitude
Smitty here, and I am grateful to have this forum in which to share my lesson today.
In working my recovery exercise in CTC for today, I was struck by this sentence. "It is amazing, my attitude towards others tends to return to me like a basketball rebounding off a backboard."
I read also several pages this morning in a book by John Q. Baucom. He shares another time-worn principle: "The response you get is the meaning of the message you send."
Simply put, this applies only to things within my personal control. An example might be, that if I am angry with others, my anger generates more friction and anger in the world around me.
Sometimes I learn from my own mistakes, but I can learn just as well from something done or said to me.
When my mom speaks unkind words to me, darned if I don't want to be unkind back! And, she gets defensive when I tell her how it makes me feel. How much I want to tell her that accepting me unconditionally, might help us both feel a whole lot safer!
"If I am unhappy with what I receive, I might try looking for that same behavior in myself. It may not take exactly the same form, but I find that whatever I dislike in another is something I dislike in myself. The reverse is also true: When I admire in others probably reflects an admirable quality within me, [that I may not have fully developed yet.]"
It is in my best interest to treat even problematic persons the way I want to be treated. I think the author's words are a good preventative medicine for me to keep by my phone for the inevitable button-pushing of my mom: "I try to imagine that my words and actions are being addressed to myself, because in the long run I generally get back what I give out."
Help me HP to be aware of the attitudes I'm giving and receiving. By being aware, I can learn to change my world.
"Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not." Ralph Waldo Emerson
I am a member of Emotions Anonymous, which adapts AA's 12 steps for recovery from alcoholism, to recovery from emotional illness. Sojourning in Al-anon, a program for family members of recovering alcoholics, has helped me in dealing with my family, which was impacted by borderline personality disorder. Feel free to read!
If you'd like to the next step and participate daily in a path to emotional healing, using EA's Twelve Steps, please join us our autonomous group on Big Tent at https://www.bigtent.com/groups/emoreroom