November 14, 2010

God, an answer to my understandings?

I've learned that recovery from my emotional illness only requires my willingness to develop trust and a sustained faith in a Higher Power of my understanding.

Before my "landing" in program, I had lost my faith and trust through misbeliefs and disbeliefs. Today I can see my past experiences and conclusions may have contributed to my rejection of God.

But if I look back over my the wreckage of my past,  I also see experiences in my life where I felt whole, healthy and at one with my life. Dare I say, that God was with me in those times?  Those times of "at-one-ness" were when I put down my defenses and let myself be.

Today I see those experiences can help me trust a spiritual approach to my emotions and my life. Do I still need to doubt that a God of my understanding exists?

Faith requires honesty about my past, and effort in the present.

I have an urgent need to believe in You, God. Let me start today, with understanding.

This reading is inspired by the reading from Today, Emotions Anonymous' daily reader

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