November 16, 2010

My Hurt or Thine?

Just like the author of today's CTC, I used to feel very hurt if anyone gave me 
an angry look, spoke in a harsh  tone, or didn't speak to me at all.  I needed 
kind words constantly, in order to accept myself.

Today, I know that how someone looks or talks to me, or the color of their 
mood may have nothing to do with me. In fact, their communication generally 
has more to do with what is going on inside them--their perceptions, opinions, 
and emotions. Sometimes I wonder why my feelings continue to be hurt. I've 
heard it said that  when I take everything personally, I am acting as if I am thefocus of everyone's attention. Is extreme sensitivity a form of conceit? Well, Iam not sure about that. I am more inclined to see it from the point of view of 
that little child inside that was blamed for an adult's anger a long long time ago. 
That little girl has faulty beliefs that act as triggers inside of her.

Little children do think that everything going on around them has something to 
do with them. As an adult today, I can realize that my reality has changed. Iam the adult now. If my issue proves to be about conceit or vanity today,  
Al-anon can help me reduce my sensivity to all that happens around me. 

When I do carry the hurt, it only hurts and controls me. Instead, before I pick itup, I check to see if it is really mine to carry. I also try to ask myself "How 
important is it?"
The author ends with, "Other people are important to me, and sometimes theiropinions matter, but I may be taking something personally that has nothing to 
do with me. Having opinions of my own about myself lets me accept other 
people's thoughts without being controlled by them.

"It was through going to meetings and the daily readings of Al-anon literature that I awakened to the fact that what other people did and said reflected on them;
 what I did and said reflected on me." Living With Sobriety

1 comment:

  1. This is something that I need to remember. I tend to take things personally, especially anger. And it really is not about me.


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