November 5, 2010

When Is "Why" More Important than "What"?

The inner thought coming from the heart represents the real motives and desires. These are the cause of action.   Raymond Holliwell

Let me look today at why I am moved to do something, even it if it is a good thing.

 "If I choose to speak up when something bothers me, my motives for speaking will influence what I say and how I say it. " It is, just like the today reading says, " fine to speak up when it is the right action.. and because I have a need to express myself. " I'll know,  because I won't be having specific expectations for the listener.  It is when I speak up in to manipulate or change someone, that I am complicating the results.  I've made their reaction my focus, and not my peace of mind.  

I may use the same words in both situations but, when the focus is on me, "I am likely to feel much better about the experience."

Might the results also be more favorable when I have fewer designs on the outcome?   What if I try and experiment today by taking actions because they seem appropriate for me, and not focus on my expectations?   

"Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree." Martin Luther


  1. When I say something at a meeting for example-
    I do it to add a layer to the whole picture, or perhaps illuminate a facet. I try very hard to say it simply. Only when emotion serves a purpose
    do I include that- and yes it comes from a place of "I feel". However, rarely is it to correct- the intent is mainly to clarify. Occasionally
    I hope to remind others of alternate paths
    My intent is not to be " Right" just an offering.
    Does that sound grandiose ? It is not meant to toot a horn...

  2. I used to try too hard in my shares at EA meetings. I tried to create a scaffold for others to add to. Until more people in our fellowship had their own program experience to add, I kind of ended up talking to myself. I've learned humility, and that, until a group gets beyond four or five regulars, it really helps to lean one's back against the literature.

    Thanks Izzy, for sharing some details of your experience. At my Al-anon meetings, there are years of experience and there I get to add a layer or facet to the group shares. I like being just one voice among many...

  3. Not focusing on the outcomes is something that is difficult. I am still a work in progress.


I welcome your thoughts. Keep me honest~