December 21, 2010

Details, Details...My Desire for a Kind Storyline

I have chosen not to share details of my recent slip in any of my face-to-face meetings, nor online.  

Part of it is that I have a hard time "naming" the challenge that beset me. 

Also I don't want to burden or trigger anyone by sharing details widely. I still have a lot of fear myself, when I allow myself to look back and remember... just how much like a train wreck the experience was for me.  

A member of the group I participate in almost daily, reminded me that sharing with restraint was better for me, and for others.

Her mentor shared with her this quote, by Bill Wilson, 

"Nothing pays off like restraint of pen and tongue." 

She shared words that peak for me:   "There are many forums in which I can express my frustrations--minor and major--but more important than my venting, is for me to keep in mind that I may hurt, overwhelm, or burden others who may be dealing with their own challenges."

Yes. That is it.  My biggest concern is that, by sharing raw material I may trigger someone.

Also it can be too easy to use the language of professionals. Words like mania, delusions, episode,  distance and describe with words that taste like sawdust.  I cringe when I feel the color and flavor of my experience replaced by diagnostic lingo.  Nor do I particularly find diagnoses to be helpful.

A diagnosis and its associated descriptions  keep me stuck in my head, with words and categories... and more words.  Instead of drawing our hearts closer, diagnoses can have us arguing or they separate us with explanations, boxes, comparisons. 

I find the professional language not only blurs the storyline of my experience, but it delimits it with medications that correct my story. Dare I say, I would like my experience respected, and treated with trust,  instead?


  1. It is hard to find our way out of the darkness and sometimes it feels like we will be there forever. Finding a way to be at peace for even a moment can give us hope for tomorrow.

  2. Thanks Grace--for making it simple. Appreciating your stopping by, and sharing your experience...

  3. I have always liked that quote from the BB about restraint of tongue and pen. I need to remember that, especially the tongue part.


I welcome your thoughts. Keep me honest~