December 17, 2010

Small Efforts, Belief and Prayer

I am only human in that I took my recent strength and sanity for granted.   I do so want these back in my life~

I do not make sanity happen; I participate in in my efforts,  with the God of my understanding. What I need for today's efforts towards recovery is simply the belief that I can do my part.   Today,  I'm allowing myself a simple belief--that as I walk in my neighborhood today,  I am walking step-by-step towards God's health and sanity.

My prayer is that I ease into better sleep; that would help me with creating a faithful rhythm in my life. November 20th's reading reminds me of the joy that may be hidden in me, during times when my spirit is broken.  The gray place bleakness that often accompanies early recovery can be frightening.  Even though I have been here before, each time I am in a different place. A dark forest. A foggy stretch of road. These are places I go with my chosen family, not so easily with the family I was born into.

Regardless, let me connect with my God, however briefly, today.

The part of me that has curiosity, enthusiasm, and delight may be elusive...but I know it still exists. Even as I have problems, "let me set them aside for a little while and appreciate what it means to be vitally alive."

Is there something you are moved to share, that brings you joy?  Do you recall specific things  that helped you during those early days, when you were facing own personal dark night of the soul, and the dawn of recovery was new?


  1. I did my neighborhood walk, a little later than planned, but I did it!

    I'd not made a plan to meditate, but just a few minutes ago, I found myself inspired by the words about the meditation that came from the work of a well-known Buddhist, in his recovery from depression.

    The acceptance of early recovery that he shared so freely, motivated me to take more time to write and revise my blog. His inspiration is in the emboldened sentence. Simple, but powerful for me.

  2. And who is the Buddhist that is recovering from
    depression ? I especially fight the blues in winter- Thanks.

  3. I said the Serenity Prayer over and over. It helped to break my racing mind.

  4. Izzy, The recovering Buddhist is Philip Martin, and his book is entitled, a Zen Path Through Depression. It is written from the perspective he gained as a result of going through a deep depression. There is one good meditation with each short "chapter" or reading. I find it down-to-earth, rather than promising recovery, it is very humble. The over-riding action that Martin through depression, is acceptance (and the compassion that leads to complete acceptance).


I welcome your thoughts. Keep me honest~