I do not make sanity happen; I participate in in my efforts, with the God of my understanding. What I need for today's efforts towards recovery is simply the belief that I can do my part. Today, I'm allowing myself a simple belief--that as I walk in my neighborhood today, I am walking step-by-step towards God's health and sanity.
My prayer is that I ease into better sleep; that would help me with creating a faithful rhythm in my life. November 20th's reading reminds me of the joy that may be hidden in me, during times when my spirit is broken. The gray place bleakness that often accompanies early recovery can be frightening. Even though I have been here before, each time I am in a different place. A dark forest. A foggy stretch of road. These are places I go with my chosen family, not so easily with the family I was born into.
Regardless, let me connect with my God, however briefly, today.
The part of me that has curiosity, enthusiasm, and delight may be elusive...but I know it still exists. Even as I have problems, "let me set them aside for a little while and appreciate what it means to be vitally alive."
Is there something you are moved to share, that brings you joy? Do you recall specific things that helped you during those early days, when you were facing own personal dark night of the soul, and the dawn of recovery was new?