June 26, 2011

Showing Up at the Pool

At the Y this weekend,  I really wanted to  keep to  myself, and seek my happiness by remaining self-contained. Quiet. Even cry in the shower if I needed to.  I was still suffering around my son's broken leg and my perceived inadequacies.

But before I went to the pool to swim, I went to the potty with my EA reader, my hair free and unfettered.   When I came out of the stall to wash my hands.  a grandmotherly type took one long look at me and said, "Aren't you going to DO your hair?"  My brow furrowed for I was totally perplexed. Had she mixed me up with someone else?  "DO?" I said. "I am going back to get my swim-cap, to protect my hair."   "No," she said. "I mean when are you going to color your hair?" She motioned to my hair which is silver-gray and nearing shoulder length.  I thought, "Dear God, I came here to be still and know you. I am not ready for a confrontation!"    Taking a deep breath, I put on my best  and kindest smile and simply answered, "Oh, I have never done that."  To which she answered, "I will never stop coloring my hair even when I am 80...."   I smiled and replied, "I've been graying since I was in my mid-20's. Started in my temples. And now here I am!"  Darlings, what did she say to this?  "If I had hair like yours, I wouldn't want to color it!" Quite the way to pull back from an awkward place, I'd say. 

This gave me perspective on a long ago conversation I had with my mom who tried to sell me on wearing a wig. She told me I had beautiful hair too.  I needed a second "set" of hair, because they wear wigs like hats in Seattle. I got an inward smile and a bit of understanding. 

Wow, on a day when I felt awfully down on myself,  that conversation and trip down memory lane raised my spirits.  I thank you HP.

I also thank HP for another day in paradise. Today was my birthday and we celebrated it well.


  1. Glad that conversation lifted your spirits! Happy Birthday, Smitty.

  2. Thanks for stopping by and for adding to the joy of my birthday, Marcia...

    It sure helps me to show up strong and kind when I feel judged, rather than being angry. Or defensive. Now I have a great story to tell, and not a wound to point at.

  3. Nice. Glad that you got a boost. That can really help! Happy belated birthday too!


I welcome your thoughts. Keep me honest~